War in the Antarctic

Now that the war against a tribe of primitive extraterrestrials dropped from outer space onto the island of New Guinea has ended in a stalemate, with no giant enemy slingshot found, the mighty arm of our arms industry has reached out to another direction, Antarctica, where the local population is said to be provoking a conflict. And our field reporter is right there to fill us in. How are you doing? How am I doing? I'm freezing my ass off. I'll bet you are. That blizzard you're standing in reminds me of my childhood growing up in Canada. Oh yeah? Well when are you Canadians going to get involved here? You have a stake in this if you want to keep calling yourself 'the true north strong and free'. Actually that's the South Pole you're standing on there. Close enough. As a North American are the locals giving you any trouble? Not yet. What did they do to start this war? Revolution? Near revolution. They formed a huge cluster on a patch of ice that was reserved for North American research. As if that wasn't enough, they left it covered in droppings. But isn't that how they stay warm? That might be how it looks, but the way these creatures hobble about upright and splash about shamelessly, its clear that they are up to no good. Tell us more about this specially designed weapon. Apparently it destroys the enemy while leaving his igloos intact. Poisoned fish. These birdbrains fall for it every time.
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© 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.