Friday, March 22, 2013

Top Stories

Top Stories
Scientists have discovered the reason for the drop in the birth rate. New satellite dishes are interfering with the migration of storks. Stork friendly hardware is being developed to remedy the problem.

The Peace Talks in Antarctica were disrupted by a snowball throwing protestor. Negotiators from our side complain that Antarcticans are too fun loving and mischievous to reach a serious agreement with. And while they may dress impeccably, they take this as an excuse to behave any way they like. As for why our country must stay in a constant state of war, a well known think tank has found the cause after years of research: astrology. Apparently our planet is stuck right in between the two most opposing planets, Venus and Mars.

And a parks and recreation lobbyist is pushing for a seven hundred billion dollar program to slay dragons. They would like to get the program started before the beasts cause another rash of summertime forest fires.
  
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